We asked the wedding speech team at Speechy how to write a modern father’s wedding speech.

Covid has obviously had a huge impact on weddings and there’s still a bit of uncertainty for 2022. But this doesn’t let you off the hook – in fact, it may mean you need to get your speech and all your father-to-dos together earlier rather than later!

Couples who have had to delay their wedding might just want to get on with it and will dive into any window of opportunity they spot. So have the core of your speech ready to go.

Of course, you’ll need to tweak your speech depending on the circumstances and the size of the wedding but don’t put off writing your speech till the wedding date is set. It may be sooner than you think.

People love nostalgia, and we always want feel-good stories. Unlike most of the people making speeches on the day, you have a whole lifetime of memories to work from, so it may take you a little time to gather them together. Sounds like an excuse to crack open some wine and gather the intel.

Make some notes about things they loved when they were little; funny quirks they had, their guilty pleasures or that boyband member they were convinced they were going to marry when they were 14. Utilise other family members for their recollections.

Chances are, if a memory makes you laugh, it’ll make others laugh too, and that’s what guests want – the personal anecdotes, the real-life humour – NOT the clichéd old jokes you might be tempted to Google. Avoid generic wedding jokes at all costs.

Avoid showing off, too. You might be proud that they got an A in their Geography GCSE but don’t be tempted to recite their CV. Instead, pick the anecdotes that bring their personality to life – or even better, ones that show they haven’t changed at all since they were five years old. Do they still have a tantrum when they can’t have a second dessert?

Don’t feel bogged down by traditional etiquette. Nowadays weddings are far less formal, and memorable speeches are the ones which take the audience on a journey of some kind – goodness knows they need it after the past two years.

A theme can help with the structure of your speech. Look at the collection of anecdotes you’ve gathered and see whether there’s a subject that weaves them together, especially if that subject gives us a little insight into what their new partner is letting themselves in for.

Start at the beginning with stories from their childhood through their adolescence (this is where you can really get your own back for all their teenage antics) and end with some observations on how they’ve grown since they’ve been with their partner.

Generally, good speeches are around 75% humour, 25% heartfelt and emotional. The perfect speech has them rolling in the aisles, then sobbing into their profiteroles at the end.

Let’s face it, you’ve got so much material on your child, it’s going to be difficult to keep it short, but please do! We suggest aiming for six to eight minutes, which is about 1000–1,200 words max.

You may want to keep that anecdote about how much they loved their little pet rabbit Flopsy, but short and sweet is the key to a memorable speech. Leave them wanting more – you can always share some stories at the bar later.

It’s been an isolating time for so many people, but this speech is your opportunity to remind everyone that weddings are about bringing two families together.

Hopefully you’ve already got a good relationship with your son- or daughter-in-law, so feel free to share anecdotes about them, too. What did you think when you first met them? What was the turning point when you realised they weren’t a wrongun? What have you two bonded over personally?

Again, the key to making this seem sincere is to avoid platitudes and, instead, be specific about the person you’re paying tribute to. Rather than talking about what a decent fella the groom is, talk about the fact he’s the only West Brom fan you can tolerate and concede that he can indeed make better Yorkshire Puddings than you.

It’s nice to thank Great Aunty Doris for flying in all the way from her commune in Brazil, but find out whether anyone else is planning on doing it too. No one wants to sit through three versions of the same tedious thank yous.

Many families nowadays have delicate dynamics, with parents who aren’t on speaking terms, or possibly won’t be attending on the day. Check with the bride and groom how they want you to manage that in your speech. Weddings can be highly emotional days, and family feuds are the last thing anyone wants stirring up with buckets of champagne floating around.

It’s all very well sitting down and writing a brilliant, heartwarming, rip-roaring speech but remember, you’re going to have to say this out loud at some point. In front of actual people.

The key is practice, practice, practice. Not just in your head, but out loud. Something may read well on the page but be a total tongue twister when spoken.

Feel free to use notes on the day (it’s absolutely acceptable as long as you try to maintain eye contact with the guests) but do try to memorise your speech so you’re at least familiar with the flow of it.

Top tips: write it out by hand three times, and read it out loud before going to bed for a week. Both have been proven to help commit a speech to memory.

None of us were quite ready for the speed with which this new Zoom era came around, but the internet has been a lifeline to many people stuck at home over the past two years. While Covid regulations are gone, the newlyweds may still plan on live streaming the speeches so that more guests can join the day’s celebrations.

Delivering your speech to a screen of 100 expectant faces needn’t feel any different from speaking to a room full of people – only this way you have the option of muting everyone. The usual rules apply – keep the laughter coming, the thank yous short, and resist the urge to include too many in-jokes.

Feel free to gather sweet or irreverent marriage advice from Zoom guests ahead of the day to relay to the happy couple in your speech and ensure virtual guests still feel included.

There are often recently-departed loved ones who are sadly missing from a wedding. Consider offering a toast to the dearly departed, or even to those who couldn’t make the wedding due to self-isolating. Keep this heartfelt but light – don’t descend into melancholy. Perhaps:

‘Here’s to our lovely Lilian, who’d have complained that my speech was too long and the best man’s wasn’t dirty enough. I’ll now raise a glass of her favourite tipple – a Harvey Wallbanger. Keep being naughty, Lil.’

Then bring your speech back to a warm, optimistic focus on the happy couple, with a toast that reflects the unique character of their relationship and complements the theme of your speech.

A big smile to start will help your audience to relax, and hopefully you too. Welcome everyone to the wedding, introduce yourself and then go straight in with some humour. An early ring of laughter will give you all the confidence you need to go on.

Speak slower than you would in a normal conversation and pick out a few people you love and trust to maintain eye contact with as you speak.

Remember, everyone in the room is on your side, so it’s almost impossible for you to fail. Just enjoy it.

Speechy is a team of ex-BBC TV scriptwriters who now specialise in wedding speeches. Make a speech to be proud of with Speechy’s quality speech templates, speech edit service or their bespoke speech writing service.

Neutral shades of beige, light taupe and stone are best suited to airy fabrics like linen or a cotton blend. Wear your linen suit with a crisp white shirt and soft coloured accessories.

Who said a pastel theme only suits the bridesmaids? These days, we love a groom and his lineup in soft hues of pink, blue, purple or green. If the suit‘s too much for you, nod to the theme with a pastel shirt or accessories instead.

From sky to navy, blue is a solid colour choice for any time of year. It lends itself nicely to a pattern too, which we suggest working in through your shirt or accessories to keep things firmly in occasion territory.

Our best-selling sage tweed suit will work beautifully for botanical themes of green and white. Set the texture of this classic fabric off with a white shirt and cool-toned extras.

There’s nothing like black tie to make a wedding feel like a special occasion. Though you could introduce some colour, we suggest leaning into the look with a black velvet bow tie and sleek metal cufflinks.

“Style a sharp three-piece with a shirt and tie, or a pastel suit with a cashmere polo. It’s about putting it all together in whatever way makes you feel on top of the world.”

– Fred

For a wedding abroad, or even a laid-back city setting, you can keep it a bit more casual. But the secret is it to get the fit just right and dress head-to-toe tonal. With Fred’s pick here, our slim fit neutral suit, leaving the waistcoat out of the equation and subbing in a T-shirt and tonal brown loafers makes it feel relaxed and ready for a party.

This is a similar approach to Fred’s pick above, but this time, the suit offers up some detail in its neutral, still subtle check, a look that’s trending this season. Along with that, the performance suit is crafted in a harder wearing wool blend that’s stain resistant and so easy to wear. With a merino knit T-shirt underneath, the overall outfit looks slightly more put together than a basic white tee. And the texture of the merino is matches the matte suede of the loafers.

Fred’s pick of our tailored fit black and white check suit is a classic move. But, it’s a classic with a twist. This new take on tweed, with a small-scale check that’s easy to wear, is a straightforward way to work a bit of pattern into your line up. Paired with a shirt that brings out the pale blue in the suit, you can’t go wrong with this outfit – one that could even work for the groomsmen or best men.

When in doubt, go with a full three-piece, particularly if you’re attending a wedding at a countryside estate. Both of Fred’s picks here take this formal look and add an element of personality. With the darker herringbone tweed, you get an unexpected colour in the olive, and pairing it with a knitted tie also makes it more modern. The lighter herringbone tweed is an easy way to wear a trending pastel shade, and with the textured grenadine tie, you’re again getting a pairing you wouldn’t normally see with this traditional material. Either way, both three-piece looks feel current and fresh.

While it’s great for couples to finally be able to emerge back into some sort of normality, the hangover will no doubt be felt for quite some time.

In that same way that some people still feel uneasy about hugging their loved ones, or even leaving the house, there’ll a generation of newly engaged couples who’ll continue to extend this caution to their wedding plans, and rightly so.

Hi guys, let’s start at the beginning – where and how did you meet?

Joe: Well, Michi had just moved over to the UK from Italy to work in the hospital and we found each other through a dating app, as most people do these days.

Joe, what’s your favourite thing about Michi? And Michi, yours about Joe?

J: I love Michi’s honesty and directness. This is something I learnt from him and it really goes hand-in-hand in a healthy relationship.

Michi: The thing I love the most about Joe is his kindness towards any living creature, his love for nature and animals.

Do you have an engagement story to share?

M: We got engaged while visiting friends in Brighton, it was quite spontaneous and was more of a conversation than a proposal I guess. Our friends Cathy and Robyn were married over 15 years ago by their close friend Dendy, the same person who will marry us, and this idea felt extremely right for both of us. And because we got engaged in Brighton, we decided to get married there too. We chose Brighton Town Hall and booked it for New Year’s Eve. We were all planning on being together for NYE anyway, so it made sense.

So, can you tell us about your original wedding plans? Did Covid have any influence on the plan when you first made it?

J: Covid definitely influenced our plans, it gave us an excuse to not do something big. I come from a large family where weddings were happening every other weekend, and I’ve always felt that big weddings were more about putting on a very expensive show for the guests.

We decided that we’d rather do something small and put the money we would save towards buying our first home (which we actually just did!). It also made so much sense that Cathy and Robyn will be our witnesses, and the plan was, and still is, to have just the four of us on the day.

At some point we will go back to Michi’s hometown in Forlimpopoli and have a small Italian celebration with our families there as well.

 

 

What were you both going to wear? And how did you decide on that?

J: We browsed for inspiration on Pinterest of course but still we had no idea which style of suits we would go for in the end. We didn’t necessarily want to match, we only knew that we wanted to feel very happy with our own choices. I found a Barberis woollen flannel suit – which would definitely keep me warm next to the Brighton coast! – while Michi went for a Barberis pure wool suit in blue.

And what happened to your original plan?

M: We nervously watched the coronavirus updates every single day to see which way the pandemic was heading. London, where we live, went into tier 4 pretty much overnight but thankfully the wedding could still happen with Brighton remaining in tier 3. But then, four days before the big day, Brighton joined London in tier 4, so it was all off.

How did that feel?

J: We always knew that things could go this way, so when it happened we were frustrated but not sad. We know it will happen when the timing is right, which could be at any moment now, so it’s actually pretty exciting that we don’t have a fixed date.

 

 

What did you do on the day your wedding was supposed to be? Did you mark it somehow?

J: We didn’t do anything special on the day. It wasn’t like we had to cancel a big celebration that we’d been planning for months like other couples have, so it just felt like another day in the end. It was New Year’s Eve, though, so we had a reason to drink some champagne anyway!

And what’s the plan now?

M: Since the new government roadmap has been announced it now means that we can go ahead and rebook our wedding. We’re looking at doing it in the summertime, but we don’t have a confirmed date just yet…

And lastly, have you got any advice for other people in the same situation?

J: I would honestly just know that your wedding is going to happen at some point and to be excited about that prospect.

 

The answer is to think beyond seasons. Go for timeless tailoring that’ll work all year round with a few styling tweaks.

Yes, your big day might end up smaller, or different, or not as you’d originally planned. But whenever it finally happens, one thing is certain: you’ll have a wedding look to be proud of.

Sometimes overlooked in favour of suits-all blue, a light grey suit makes a surprisingly versatile base to all sorts of looks. It’ll style up beautifully with pastel shades for spring and summer days, but add a tactile knit and a seasonal sprig of flowers in the lapel and the effect is altogether more wintry.

Traditional tweed’s a great shout for cold-weather weddings, especially set off with accessories in autumnal or berry tones. But go for a lightweight tweed suit in a softer shade like sage or muted blue and the look transitions with ease to sunnier celebrations too.

There’s a reason blue is seen as the can’t-go-wrong shade for suits: it’s universally flattering and is unbeaten in styling versatility. Look for a blue suit in a mid-weight, wool-rich fabric that will naturally regulate your temperature and can be layered up or down depending on what time of year you end up getting hitched.

Think velvet’s just for festive parties? While a velvet jacket in a jewel tone is a sure bet for after-dark dos, one in camel, stone, grey or olive is an offbeat take on the classic that’ll look as sharp on a summer evening as it will in the depths of winter.

Just because your micro wedding is smaller, doesn’t mean it should feel any less special. A three-piece tweed suit is made for winter wedding ceremonies and will feel suitably special compared to the WFH outfits you’ve been wearing all year.

If budget is top of mind, a tweed jacket will make a smart shirt and trousers you already own wedding-ready with the help of a few romantic-themed accessories. And you can restyle it with a printed shirt for next year’s social plans.

If your mini wedding is taking place virtually, then the usual outfit considerations like venue, time and weather don’t matter. Take advantage and wear whatever will make you feel happiest. Pale linen in December? Do it. A full-on evening tux in the middle of the day? It’s your day.

Even if your micro ceremony’s happening in the real world, you’ve had an absolute year of it so if wearing a sky-blue suit will put you in a sunnier frame of mind on your big (little) day, we’re right behind it.

Planning a minomony for now, with the wedding party later? A low-key look styled with a t-shirt will suit the mood at your scaled-down celebrations and will make the full wedding works of tails for you and your groomsmen feel all the more special next year.

If our stores are open (lockdown rules permitting), we’d love to see you safely there to sort your outfits. If not, you can still book your look for next year on our hire site.