We asked the wedding speech team at Speechy how to write a modern father’s wedding speech.

Covid has obviously had a huge impact on weddings and there’s still a bit of uncertainty for 2022. But this doesn’t let you off the hook – in fact, it may mean you need to get your speech and all your father-to-dos together earlier rather than later!

Couples who have had to delay their wedding might just want to get on with it and will dive into any window of opportunity they spot. So have the core of your speech ready to go.

Of course, you’ll need to tweak your speech depending on the circumstances and the size of the wedding but don’t put off writing your speech till the wedding date is set. It may be sooner than you think.

People love nostalgia, and we always want feel-good stories. Unlike most of the people making speeches on the day, you have a whole lifetime of memories to work from, so it may take you a little time to gather them together. Sounds like an excuse to crack open some wine and gather the intel.

Make some notes about things they loved when they were little; funny quirks they had, their guilty pleasures or that boyband member they were convinced they were going to marry when they were 14. Utilise other family members for their recollections.

Chances are, if a memory makes you laugh, it’ll make others laugh too, and that’s what guests want – the personal anecdotes, the real-life humour – NOT the clichéd old jokes you might be tempted to Google. Avoid generic wedding jokes at all costs.

Avoid showing off, too. You might be proud that they got an A in their Geography GCSE but don’t be tempted to recite their CV. Instead, pick the anecdotes that bring their personality to life – or even better, ones that show they haven’t changed at all since they were five years old. Do they still have a tantrum when they can’t have a second dessert?

Don’t feel bogged down by traditional etiquette. Nowadays weddings are far less formal, and memorable speeches are the ones which take the audience on a journey of some kind – goodness knows they need it after the past two years.

A theme can help with the structure of your speech. Look at the collection of anecdotes you’ve gathered and see whether there’s a subject that weaves them together, especially if that subject gives us a little insight into what their new partner is letting themselves in for.

Start at the beginning with stories from their childhood through their adolescence (this is where you can really get your own back for all their teenage antics) and end with some observations on how they’ve grown since they’ve been with their partner.

Generally, good speeches are around 75% humour, 25% heartfelt and emotional. The perfect speech has them rolling in the aisles, then sobbing into their profiteroles at the end.

Let’s face it, you’ve got so much material on your child, it’s going to be difficult to keep it short, but please do! We suggest aiming for six to eight minutes, which is about 1000–1,200 words max.

You may want to keep that anecdote about how much they loved their little pet rabbit Flopsy, but short and sweet is the key to a memorable speech. Leave them wanting more – you can always share some stories at the bar later.

It’s been an isolating time for so many people, but this speech is your opportunity to remind everyone that weddings are about bringing two families together.

Hopefully you’ve already got a good relationship with your son- or daughter-in-law, so feel free to share anecdotes about them, too. What did you think when you first met them? What was the turning point when you realised they weren’t a wrongun? What have you two bonded over personally?

Again, the key to making this seem sincere is to avoid platitudes and, instead, be specific about the person you’re paying tribute to. Rather than talking about what a decent fella the groom is, talk about the fact he’s the only West Brom fan you can tolerate and concede that he can indeed make better Yorkshire Puddings than you.

It’s nice to thank Great Aunty Doris for flying in all the way from her commune in Brazil, but find out whether anyone else is planning on doing it too. No one wants to sit through three versions of the same tedious thank yous.

Many families nowadays have delicate dynamics, with parents who aren’t on speaking terms, or possibly won’t be attending on the day. Check with the bride and groom how they want you to manage that in your speech. Weddings can be highly emotional days, and family feuds are the last thing anyone wants stirring up with buckets of champagne floating around.

It’s all very well sitting down and writing a brilliant, heartwarming, rip-roaring speech but remember, you’re going to have to say this out loud at some point. In front of actual people.

The key is practice, practice, practice. Not just in your head, but out loud. Something may read well on the page but be a total tongue twister when spoken.

Feel free to use notes on the day (it’s absolutely acceptable as long as you try to maintain eye contact with the guests) but do try to memorise your speech so you’re at least familiar with the flow of it.

Top tips: write it out by hand three times, and read it out loud before going to bed for a week. Both have been proven to help commit a speech to memory.

None of us were quite ready for the speed with which this new Zoom era came around, but the internet has been a lifeline to many people stuck at home over the past two years. While Covid regulations are gone, the newlyweds may still plan on live streaming the speeches so that more guests can join the day’s celebrations.

Delivering your speech to a screen of 100 expectant faces needn’t feel any different from speaking to a room full of people – only this way you have the option of muting everyone. The usual rules apply – keep the laughter coming, the thank yous short, and resist the urge to include too many in-jokes.

Feel free to gather sweet or irreverent marriage advice from Zoom guests ahead of the day to relay to the happy couple in your speech and ensure virtual guests still feel included.

There are often recently-departed loved ones who are sadly missing from a wedding. Consider offering a toast to the dearly departed, or even to those who couldn’t make the wedding due to self-isolating. Keep this heartfelt but light – don’t descend into melancholy. Perhaps:

‘Here’s to our lovely Lilian, who’d have complained that my speech was too long and the best man’s wasn’t dirty enough. I’ll now raise a glass of her favourite tipple – a Harvey Wallbanger. Keep being naughty, Lil.’

Then bring your speech back to a warm, optimistic focus on the happy couple, with a toast that reflects the unique character of their relationship and complements the theme of your speech.

A big smile to start will help your audience to relax, and hopefully you too. Welcome everyone to the wedding, introduce yourself and then go straight in with some humour. An early ring of laughter will give you all the confidence you need to go on.

Speak slower than you would in a normal conversation and pick out a few people you love and trust to maintain eye contact with as you speak.

Remember, everyone in the room is on your side, so it’s almost impossible for you to fail. Just enjoy it.

Speechy is a team of ex-BBC TV scriptwriters who now specialise in wedding speeches. Make a speech to be proud of with Speechy’s quality speech templates, speech edit service or their bespoke speech writing service.

But once you’ve found the dream spot to marry, it’s time to turn your attention to the outfits. For the bride, the wedding venue and the wedding dress go hand-in-hand and I don’t see why it should be any different for the groom. Wedding suit hire is a big deal that can save you time and money on your wedding day.

Getting the right wedding suit is important. So to help guide you through this style dilemma I’ve selected eight of my most-loved venues and matched them with the perfect suit. Pretty handy, right?

Upthorpe Wood is a magical venue set in a small private woodland, just off the beaten track in Suffolk. The team loves to encourage their couples to create a day that’s individual and unique with an easy, relaxed vibe. From getting wed under a canopy of trees, to dining in their Cartlodge and chatting around the fire until the wee hours, weddings at Upthorpe Wood are really quite special.

Beautifully wild, it’s just the spot for an outdoor boho celebration and what could be better than a bit of tweed to reflect this al-fresco vibe? For me, boho always airs on the side of being a little bit dark and moody, so I’ve opted for this herringbone tweed suit in an earthy, sage tone.

Tweed is a groom’s outfit trend that shows no signs of slowing down. But now in softer cuts and trending colours, it’s nothing like your Grandad’s boxy tweeds. To complement the laidback bohemian look of this location, pair yours with a cappuccino merino rollneck and suede brogues, or keep things classic with a white shirt, forest-green socks and sand-coloured loafers.

I’m crushing on this Donegal tweed lounge suit – a contemporary option that’ll look quite at home in rustic locations thanks to its textured weave and characterful flecks. Brown leather shoes match really well, as would a tonal knitted tie. So now we have the look we need a rustic venue, but which one?

Meet Stratton Court Barn – it’s found at Pool Farm, set amid rolling Oxfordshire countryside, yet only 10 minutes from Bicester. Once you enter the venue by the grand tree-lined drive, the peace and quiet of the countryside will surround you and make a seriously nice backdrop for your celebrations.

Originally built in 1870 and since thoughtfully refurbished, the barn has kept its rustic charm so it’s the perfect setting for an intimate, relaxed celebration.

At this fine-art country house located in Dorset, you can marry surrounded by fireplaces and Old Master paintings or in their intimate and romantic grotto. It forms part of the Pleasure Grounds and was built in the early 18th century using shells brought back from the Caribbean. It’s perfect for couples looking to wed in a unique and magical setting.

This navy suit is my pick of an extra special look for your luxe wedding. Its tailored fit and matching waistcoat keep the look sleek and modern, but still classic. Pair its deep blue, 100% wool fabric with a white poplin shirt and bold-coloured silk accessories and you’ll fit right into the dramatic surroundings of St Giles House.

Chateau de Redon is a romantic French venue in a relaxed and natural landscape. Set in a two-hectare private park with rare, century-old trees, it offers a secluded and exclusive location for your wedding. The Chateau was completely renovated in 2013 with modern design choices but with respect for all the authentic elements: century-old oak wooden floors, chimneys with majestic mirrors, handcrafted mouldings and intricate woodwork.

To complement such a location this stylish neutral lightweight suit is a cool but refined option. In a close-cut slim fit, it’ll give off an air of relaxed, understated charm that’s just right for this location. Plus the lightweight fabric is an obvious choice for destination weddings in warmer climes, as it’ll keep you cool. Style it with a printed shirt for laidback holiday vibes or keep things traditional with a crisp white shirt.

Mount Druid in Ireland is a new addition to our collection of venues. Where vintage chic and the beauty of nature meet, we just had to pair this unique venue with this blue check suit. This sharp, slim-fit suit with a defined shoulder and tapering through the torso gives the classic Prince of Wales check a contemporary update.

Situated in the picturesque village of Castletown Geoghegan, County Westmeath, Mount Druid is an exquisite private wedding venue set in parkland of 100 acres. After getting married in their Tin Chapel, dance the night away in the converted Barn decorated with vintage chic trinkets and antique furniture.

The Hoxton Holborn is an intimate, relaxed hotel venue and just the space for a chic city wedding. Located in the centre of London, a stone’s throw from Covent Garden, this is one of the area’s most renowned hangouts with bars, restaurants and city views aplenty. Taking inspiration from the disco days of the 1970s The Hoxton Holborn’s event space features bold prints, velvet textures and a jaw-dropping terrazzo bar.

We’ve got the perfect match for this wow-factor venue. Our grey twill suit is super sophisticated, and it can be dressed up or down with accessories in a variety of colours and patterns. A dependable option for a packed wedding day, there’s a slight stretch to the wool-blend fabric so you’ll be comfortable all day. The neutral shade will go with any colour theme, too, and won’t leave you clashing with your show-stopping surroundings!

We don’t think you could pick a more appropriate suit for a coastal wedding celebration than this light blue lounge suit. As well as being an easy option for your wedding by the sea, the shade of blue is nice and versatile. The addition of a waistcoat will elevate this adaptable suit from smart to something special.

So, which venue? Well, The Gallivant is a pretty epic venue on the raw coastline of Camber Sands in East Sussex. Weddings at this location always take place on an exclusive basis, meaning guests can enjoy the entire hotel and its 20 individually styled bedrooms for themselves. In the warmer months, big days flow naturally between the beach and the coastal-styled marquee. In the cooler months, the open log fire in the New England Room and the heated marquee create a beautiful Scandinavian/Hamptons-themed vibe.

I’ve saved my favourite venue for last – the incredible Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew, London. With floor-to-ceiling windows on three sides, the Nash Conservatory offers lots of natural daylight for your wedding celebrations. The Conservatory is the oldest of the 19th-century glasshouses at Kew and is of major historical and architectural importance, making it a unique venue for your big day. The style of this venue is super versatile, but it’s really the perfect backdrop for a classically elegant wedding.

Classic doesn’t necessarily mean traditional, and while tails would certainly suit this space, I urge you to go for a dinner suit instead. There’s something very dashing about a man in this particular attire and, believe me, your better half will go a little weak at the knees when they see you in this sleek black suit.

Cut in a frame-defining tailored fit, this suit’s wool-rich fabric and peak lapel detail is black-tie tailoring at its finest. Paired with high-shine dress shoes and a black satin bow tie, there’ll be no doubt you’re the man of the moment.

Whatever your wedding venue or theme, it’s important that you feel comfortable and confident in your wedding suit or groom outfit. A wedding day is naturally fairly long, so you want to feel like yourself from when you head down the aisle right through to when you hit the dancefloor later. Personal style is an important part of your wedding day, so you should choose your venue and complementary wedding outfits with that in mind – there are no rules!

Coco Wedding Venues is the first place to kickstart your wedding planning.

They are the UK’s original style-focused wedding venue directory, showcasing a carefully curated selection of the very best wedding venues in the UK and beyond.

While it’s great for couples to finally be able to emerge back into some sort of normality, the hangover will no doubt be felt for quite some time.

In that same way that some people still feel uneasy about hugging their loved ones, or even leaving the house, there’ll a generation of newly engaged couples who’ll continue to extend this caution to their wedding plans, and rightly so.

We asked the Speechy team for their tips on how mums can write a memorable, witty and unique speech. And if you’re the groom reading this? Do something nice for your mum and pass it on.

These days, we might not be able to remember what we went into a room for or where we left our car keys but we can recall our children’s milestone moments as plain as day.

Who better to describe your offspring’s journey from childhood to grown-up than the person who’s been mopping up tears and doling out fivers throughout?

Look back over old pictures, letters and school reports, and turn your treasured memories into anecdotes that’ll leave the crowd howling with laughter one minute and pretending they’ve got something in their eye the next.

Remember those early years of snuggling up with fairy tales together? That’s a lifetime of storytelling skills honed – now it’s your turn to write the narrative and your wonderful son is the protagonist.

Like all the best stories, yours should have adventure, romance and plenty of humour. A theme can help with the structure here – base it on something people will recognise in your grown-up child, whether it’s their vocation or their notorious party animal personality.

If they’re a teacher, for instance, go for ‘lessons my child has taught me’, and use a few anecdotes to illustrate how they taught you patience (arriving two weeks past their due date), generosity (the rustle of a chocolate wrapper had them by your side in seconds), and courage (watching them graduate convinced you to go back and get that degree you’d written off).

Belly laughs shouldn’t be saved for the best man’s jokes. Why not show the crowd where your offspring got their wicked sense of humour from?

A few rules here – original comedy only, ditch the clichés and nothing recycled (except for the eco-friendly wedding favours).

It’s easier than you might think to craft authentic humour. Ironies and contrasts often work well… The chef who refused to eat anything that wasn’t beige as a child. The musician who gave you a headache with their endless banging of wooden spoons against pots and pans. You get the idea.

You needn’t perform a flawless stand-up routine – warm humour is great but feel free to express your heartfelt joy too. Lockdown will have made everyone that little bit more sentimental, and mums are well placed to ensure there’s not a dry eye in the place.

Many a promising speech has failed the ‘leave them wanting more’ test. With a line-up of speakers and fidgety guests who’ve been locked down for a year, it’s best to recite three rolling-in-the-aisles anecdotes than six weaker ones which might inspire only polite titters.

And don’t feel it’s your place to offer any thank yous – that’s mostly the groom’s job. And besides, if there’s one person who deserves a big old gratitude bomb on this occasion, it’s probably you.

Focus instead on celebrating your grown-up child for all their wonderful quirkiness. Delight them with as many funny memories as you can in five minutes – which is about the length of this blog, or between 900 and 1,000 words.

Whether you’ve had a turbulent ‘getting to know you’ period with them, or they’ve fit right in like an old piece of furniture, it’s always appreciated if you make an effort to pay tribute to them in your speech.

Avoid platitudes and make it bespoke. Maybe tell them how nice it’s been to see your son lovingly supported through his ambitions, or tease your new child-in-law with a story of how they originally spoke like Prince Harry to impress you before you finally realised they’re much more Danny Dyer.

If you don’t have a particularly close relationship, opt for giving them some irreverent guidance on living in harmony with your child; for example, ‘never try and outwit them on Mandalorian trivia and put their record collection back in the wrong order at your peril’.

Mums are often the glue that holds a family together. A warm tribute to someone your offsrping loved who couldn’t be here to enjoy this moment with them is perfectly acceptable in a mother of the groom speech.

Keep it brief and stay in tone with the happy occasion by pointing out something sweet or amusing about your lost loved one – had they been here, they’d have heckled their way through the speeches and been first up to the dancefloor. Maybe raise a glass of their favourite tipple to honour them.

Whether you’ve loved and lost, are battle-scarred from dating or are still happily married to your childhood sweetheart (who also happens to be the groom’s dad!), you’ve lived enough to offer the happy couple some gentle guidance on successful cohabiting.

Keep it light – this love-filled day doesn’t call for heavy-duty relationship counselling. Try offering some sweet words about the importance of teamwork or feel free to make a jokey reference to compromising on Netflix boxsets.

It’s perfectly acceptable to borrow the marriage advice of famous wordsmiths to make a fun point here. Dame Julie Andrews is a good choice: “Marriage is like a graph – it has its ups and downs, and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage.”

Speechy is a team of ex-BBC TV scriptwriters who write bespoke speeches for weddings worldwide. They’re offering Moss Bros. customers a unique 10% off all their products and services throughout May and June. Visit speechy.com and use MOSSBROS at checkout.

Hi guys, let’s start at the beginning – where and how did you meet?

Joe: Well, Michi had just moved over to the UK from Italy to work in the hospital and we found each other through a dating app, as most people do these days.

Joe, what’s your favourite thing about Michi? And Michi, yours about Joe?

J: I love Michi’s honesty and directness. This is something I learnt from him and it really goes hand-in-hand in a healthy relationship.

Michi: The thing I love the most about Joe is his kindness towards any living creature, his love for nature and animals.

Do you have an engagement story to share?

M: We got engaged while visiting friends in Brighton, it was quite spontaneous and was more of a conversation than a proposal I guess. Our friends Cathy and Robyn were married over 15 years ago by their close friend Dendy, the same person who will marry us, and this idea felt extremely right for both of us. And because we got engaged in Brighton, we decided to get married there too. We chose Brighton Town Hall and booked it for New Year’s Eve. We were all planning on being together for NYE anyway, so it made sense.

So, can you tell us about your original wedding plans? Did Covid have any influence on the plan when you first made it?

J: Covid definitely influenced our plans, it gave us an excuse to not do something big. I come from a large family where weddings were happening every other weekend, and I’ve always felt that big weddings were more about putting on a very expensive show for the guests.

We decided that we’d rather do something small and put the money we would save towards buying our first home (which we actually just did!). It also made so much sense that Cathy and Robyn will be our witnesses, and the plan was, and still is, to have just the four of us on the day.

At some point we will go back to Michi’s hometown in Forlimpopoli and have a small Italian celebration with our families there as well.

 

 

What were you both going to wear? And how did you decide on that?

J: We browsed for inspiration on Pinterest of course but still we had no idea which style of suits we would go for in the end. We didn’t necessarily want to match, we only knew that we wanted to feel very happy with our own choices. I found a Barberis woollen flannel suit – which would definitely keep me warm next to the Brighton coast! – while Michi went for a Barberis pure wool suit in blue.

And what happened to your original plan?

M: We nervously watched the coronavirus updates every single day to see which way the pandemic was heading. London, where we live, went into tier 4 pretty much overnight but thankfully the wedding could still happen with Brighton remaining in tier 3. But then, four days before the big day, Brighton joined London in tier 4, so it was all off.

How did that feel?

J: We always knew that things could go this way, so when it happened we were frustrated but not sad. We know it will happen when the timing is right, which could be at any moment now, so it’s actually pretty exciting that we don’t have a fixed date.

 

 

What did you do on the day your wedding was supposed to be? Did you mark it somehow?

J: We didn’t do anything special on the day. It wasn’t like we had to cancel a big celebration that we’d been planning for months like other couples have, so it just felt like another day in the end. It was New Year’s Eve, though, so we had a reason to drink some champagne anyway!

And what’s the plan now?

M: Since the new government roadmap has been announced it now means that we can go ahead and rebook our wedding. We’re looking at doing it in the summertime, but we don’t have a confirmed date just yet…

And lastly, have you got any advice for other people in the same situation?

J: I would honestly just know that your wedding is going to happen at some point and to be excited about that prospect.